Fiona Cartwright has just been hired in an ensemble cast, for a show which is set, and filming, in Florida. The following is the opening scene of the book, where we are first introduced to her.
The yellow sun beat down on the sand. Sailboats drifted across the horizon, slipping along the surface of the ocean like leaves across glass. On the beach, bronzed, oiled bodies lay along the strand, cooking in the midday heat. My lush, thick blonde hair wafted on the warm summer wind—tangling around my ears and obscuring my vision. It might look sexy as hell to have three feet of hair, but it’s a pain in the ass. I shoved it out of my face, spitting and swearing.
“Cut! Lexi, what the hell?” Don, my director yelled at me from the shade of a huge umbrella. “We’ve been half the day on this damn shot. Just this shot, Lex!”
I said nothing, merely stood up, squaring my shoulders as he continued to screech. I’m almost six feet of woman. He’s tall, but comes across like a pipsqueak, because he’s skinny as a rail. I’m sick of the man, but I don’t control who sits behind the camera telling me what to do, or I wouldn’t be out here with all this damn hair!
“Someone fix her,” Don said, pointing at me.
The hair was really whipping around, lashing me like a whip. When your body is minimally covered in the skimpiest bikini ever, and you’ve got three feet of fake hair weave slapping you around the face, back and abdomen, it’s not the most fun.
“Lose the hair,” someone suggested. “She doesn’t need it. She’s hot and sexy enough without that mane. Her own hair is gorgeous.”
I couldn’t see who was speaking, but I was all for it. I didn’t offer my two cents. I’d only been working with Don the Dweeb for the last few days and already knew he’d do the opposite of what I wanted just because he could.
“We don’t have to reshoot,” the voice continued. “We’ve been in rehearsal all week. This is the first actual camera time. Give the girl a break, and get her out of that ridiculous weave.”
Don huffed angrily. “Do you think you could do the scene appropriately without the hair to distract you, Precious?” he directed at me.
I held my tongue, really wanting to cut into him, but this is my first big role. I’m not going to mess it up because the director is an egotistical prick.
“Yes, Don. I think that I can manage that.”
He gestured at me angrily.
The hair dresser came over, smiling. “Thank God,” she whispered. “Let’s get you in the trailer, Sugar,” she said with a smile.
“Thanks. This weighs a ton and I look like a Wookie—no offense to you, Shawna. It’s just a crazy amount of hair!”
“I know but himself liked this one. And I’m not offended, I didn’t make this monstrosity.”
I sat in the chair and she went to work, disconnecting the weave quickly and efficiently. It felt so good to get that extra weight off. And that doesn’t even factor in the heat index that mane produced. Shawna fluffed and styled my own hair, which is well below my shoulders, and declared I was perfect. She didn’t allow me to leave the trailer until I’d had something to drink and a chance to get out of the heat.
“He has no idea how long it will take.” She winked at me.
“Thank you.” I gave her a hug. “Would it kill him to get my name right, though?”
Lexi is the character’s name. My own name isn’t glamorous, but it’s easy enough to remember. Fiona. How hard is that? I suspect it’s his way of trying to keep me in character, but I also think he can’t be bothered to learn my name. I’m one of five key characters in this epic—and the only woman. The men are all devastatingly handsome, jacked and single. They are also slightly more famous than I am, so I’m the new kid and the only girl.
They’re eye candy, though. (Cue drool.) This takes place at the beach and they each take off their shirts at least once during the show. We’re sort of a low budget Baywatch, set in Florida, not California. They seem to think that beefcake will sell better than tits and ass—which is my role in the show.
Once I’d been rehydrated and cooled down a little, Shawna allowed me to go back outside. Don was pacing.
“How the hell long does it take to remove fake hair?” he bellowed.
“Nearly as long as it takes to put it on,” Shawna said, following me out. “Unless you want me to snatch the girl bald.”
“We could shave my head and make me a chemo patient,” I suggested very quietly.
“Shh, don’t give him the idea.”
“Let’s try it again, shall we? I’d like to get something on film today!” He waved his hands around. “Places, Lexi, if you will!”
“Fiona,” I corrected quietly.
“Excuse me?” Don raised his hand to his ear. “Did you say something?”
I waved, trudging over to my spot. Taking my mark, I loosened up a little, bending and stretching as I waited for Don to bellow out more instructions. Wolf whistles and cat calls accompanied my performance. Rather than risking another screaming session, I ignored them—my partners in crime, the men of the cast, were admiring my workout routine. For fun, and to loosen myself up a bit more, I did a silly dance with my back to them. Still on my mark, I fluffed my hair and wiggled my scantily clad ass in their direction.
“Whoot! Ooh, baby!” and various other comments accompanied my antics.
© 2018 Dellani Oakes